Totally shaved off the beard

Totally shaved off the beard

After a flurry of interest and opinions (thank you again you lovely half dozen people who read my blog), I decided that I couldn’t keep my beard, not after teasing the internet with the prospect of me shaving it off for something more interesting.

There were several differing opinions, the Downey Jr/Tony Stark look seemed to be quite in favour, but I decided that it look too groomed for me…let’s face it, Iron Man probably has a personal barber who sorts his facial hair out every day, whereas I usually have a case of I Hate Mornings Syndrome…the odds of me managing any kind of regular upkeep on a moustache/beard combo that sculpted, that defined…was never gong to happen!

The Sam Elliott got some good votes too, I’m just not enough of a manly man’s man, a gravelly voiced Silver Fox, a macho cowboy, to be able to pull that one off.

There was one vote for the Kurt Russell Hateful Eight look, and I’ve tried my best, but my lack of a mane of good, thick hair means I’m not quite pulling it off. In the end I’ve gone with something in between Kurt and Sam, I think, I reckon I’m probably more cowboy than superhero in any case, and  seriously, who has the time to groom their moustache and beard every morning?!?!? And so, for at least a week (I shall withstand any mockery I am subjected to), I am going to let this bad boy grow, and see just how awesome a moustache it can become.

My suspicion is incredibly awesome.

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Ideally I will get to the point where I can plait it.

I have no doubt that I will wake up in the morning with a bad case of Beard-Shavers-Regret, but for now I am quite happy to see my chin again, while retaining enough facial fuzz to hide a multitude of sins. And sometimes food, for later. And retaining the ability to strain my coffee while drinking it.

I’m just sorry I couldn’t achieve this:

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Still, I’m going for the eccentric author bit, I’m also going to buy some leather patches to sew on the elbows of all my jackets, start smoking a pipe and referring to myself in the third person.

When Dave finishes this blog tonight Dave is going to reward himself with – actually scratch the third person thing, that’s just annoying. I’ll consider the moustache enough!

Speaking of being an eccentric author, don’t forget to buy/read/review my books, please, the two currently available can be found here (for fantasy lovers) and here (for those who prefer a quicker-paced action thriller set in the near future), and it really is reviews which make the difference for indy authors like myself. Don’t forget that both books can be read for free with Kindle Unlimited, so anyone with Amazon Prime, dive on in there!

That’s about it from me for tonight, no writing occurred today but I did think abut the next chapter a lot, so that counts, right? Still, I’ve done a prologue and four chapters in the last 6 days, I’ll take that. As long as I get something done tomorrow. And not the tomorrow I usually refer to, the tomorrow of unfinished DIY, but the actual tomorrow, the 24th April 2016. Trying to maintain a level of at least five chapters a week was the goal, I’ll stick to that.

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Good night, Stay Frosty, People.

Do I keep my beard?

Do I keep my beard?

A random question, I know, but it’s one of those late night things that I thought, in the absence of anything actually insightful or intelligent to say, I might as well just put out there in the universe and see what comes back.

(Quick update before the inanity begins, I have now written a prologue and four chapters for Realmborn 2, and I am just awaiting my test readers all coming back to me on Metal Blade, which I hope to be available soon. Feel free to leave reviews for Silver Soldiers or Realmborn on Amazon, and if you’ve not read them yet, why not?!?!? Details of where you can get them are on their individual pages on this website. Right, enough serious stuff, on with the inanity)

Now don’t get me wrong, I love my beard, I truly do. But I do get bored quite easily…I’m one of those freaks of nature who, when clean shaven, has a five o’clock shadow at eleven in the morning, and once got told by my headmaster to stand closer to the razor next time I shaved…I was 13 at the time. So it doesn’t take me long to grow facial hair, which does mean that the temptation is always there, when slightly bored with it, to just shave it off and start again. Which I’ve done, on a regular basis, for years.

(The sole exception is the sideburns. I’ve had sideburns since I was twelve, and I will have sideburns the day I die. That is non-negotiable.)

The flip side of finding it so easy to give in to the boredom and shave it off is the agonising regret and Shaver’s Remorse the following day. I always forget this when I come to shave off my beards, and I always remember it the following day when I look in the mirror and wonder who the bald-faced bloke is staring back at me.

So this time, this time, dear internet reader, I have decided to only shave bits of it off. I am going to go for something interesting, probably tomorrow (or later today, as I notice that the old clock has just ticked past midnight), assuming my nerve holds…

So here are some options, from which I may draw inspiration:

1: Sam Elliott

Sam Elliott, the man, the legend, the awesome moustache. And I’ll happily wear a hat and speak in a far more gravelly voice.

 

2. Tombstone

Kurt Russell, when he was in Tombstone. Again, hat optional, I guess.

 

3.

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Kurt Russell again, this time as he appeared in the Hateful Eight (great film, btw, loved it). Could I pull this look off with my lack of a thick mane of hair?!?!?!

 

4. Rober-downey-jr

Robert Downey Jr, as Iron Man. Or, well, as Tony Stark, really. But still, cool beard.

 

5. brucecon01

Bruce Campbell, because I love him. I also think I could pull off this facial hair look with relative ease…

 

6. colin farrell

Colin Farrell. And another look I think I could pull off…facial hair-wise. Obviously not looks-wise, don’t be ridiculous!

 

7. Funny-Beard-Photos-8-270x300

Random man found on the internet with Batman’s bat symbol as facial hair. Looks a little tricky, but my eldest son would love it!

 

8. Crazy Moustache

Last but by no means least…how cool would this be?!?!?!?!

 

Anyway, should anyone feel like expressing an opinion you can do so using the comment section on this site, or if you’re reading this on FB just leave a comment there, or you can Tweet me, or  Twitter me, or send me a Twaddle or whatever the terminology is, @deastmanauthor

Hope everyone reading this is well and looking forward to a relaxing weekend.

Stay Frosty, People.

Realmborn 2 has begun!

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A decision has been made, my next project will be Realmborn 2!

I was torn between writing a sequel to my first novel and starting on something else new, but then I discovered some notes from last year mapping out the start of the sequel…I was hooked pretty quickly!

So, I shall be trying to maintain a fairly prolific pace, I am hoping for five chapters a week, which will give me leeway to have to odd day off here and there. I shall, of course, keep you as updated as possible via this blog, and may put some teaser chapters up in the next few days. Spoiler alert, though, if you’ve not read Realmborn yet then don’t read the teasers!

I’ve made a pretty good start, had to come up to London today so had a good couple of hours on the train this morning, and then some time spent lazily writing in a coffee shop this afternoon. As always I had my faithful writing companion Wade stood by my laptop offering his sage words of wisdom…

Hopefully everyone is enjoying the sunshine, I am bedecked in my usual Hawaiian shirted manner, pretending it is summer…today has been a good day so far.

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Stay Frosty, People…like my beer.

I have finished writing my third novel!

So, no image obviously, as I’ve only finished the first draft, but it’s called Metal Blade and is about a pair of bounty hunters on a new earth in the distant future, one of who has a load of cybernetic enhancements, the other carries a sword…so maybe just picture Robocop stood next to a samurai warrior for now. (Artwork’s not really my thing, so if anyone has any suggestions for cover designs, please do let me know.)

I’ll not give too much away, but in a nutshell the plot revolves around our heroes foiling an assassination attempt and then finding out why the poor schmuck was marked for death in the first place…we’ve got strong women, a deadly assassin, wisecracks, gunfights, swordfights, sword vs gun fights, a really odious bad guy…it’s a lot of fun, and you can read a rough first draft of the first chapter on this very website! (Along with details of where to buy my first two novels, of course, always an important thing to point out. Come for the blog, stay for the books.)

There’s still work to be done, typos to be hunted down and exterminated, possible changes to be made, entire characters to be removed/added/killed off/brought back to life, so there’ll be a short while before it hits Amazon, but I hope to have it out there for public consumption by the middle of May.

I’m actually absurdly proud of this one, I think it reads well, it’s fast-paced and exciting, and most importantly of all, I started writing it 28 days ago. 55,000 words and change, 24 chapters, a beginning, a middle, and an end. A whole book, in 4 weeks. I am actually pretty damn pleased with myself. I have a few test readers so, unless they are being mega-polite, I am fairly confident on the quality level (I could be completely wrong of course, it could be awful and I just have very nice, polite people reading this for me), I think the speed on this one comes from having had the time to really focus on it. So, if nothing else, this experiment in writing full time has at least shown that I can be fairly prolific when I put my mind to it.

Can I repeat the feat? Maybe, but what with? I am torn between writing the sequel to Realmborn, or writing another standalone story I have in mind called Monster Island. If anyone has an opinion, please let me know.

In the meantime I am going to call it a day, because this weekend holds the joys of marketing my second novel, Silver Soldiers. I’ve been advised to write a Press Release, start a Facebook page, get in touch with book bloggers, do more twittering on my Tweetie Bird account thing…this marketing lark is hard work, and I take my hat off to everyone I know who works in that field. You are all unsung, hard-working heroes!

So yeah, tomorrow’s entry might be me telling you what advertising/PR strategies I’ll be adopting, and how I hope increase market saturation and my social media presence throughout eastern Europe…head this way if you need a cure for insomnia.

As always, till next time, Stay Frosty, People.

Bl**dy migraines

I’d been hoping to finish the first draft of my third novel, Metal Blade, today. I’d had a great idea for the beefing up I wanted to do to really round the novel out, I had a plan in place, I was raring to go.

Then I woke up feeling a little rough around the edges, and took some ibuprofen. My pan still seemed doable, if slightly harder work with a mild headache. Then the visual disturbances began, the pain behind my left eye intensified, my temperature began going up and down like a yoyo on speed…all the usual signs, signs I have come to know and loathe, and I knew that today was going to be a write off.

No pun intended.

Plan A (with clear head) – complete beefing up, do some marketing stuff, begin first read through of completed draft. Perhaps reward myself with regular coffee breaks, build in some spare time to play my guitar, and look forward to a beer in the evening.

Plan B (with the migraine) – lie in a darkened room in pain and pray for the blissful reprieve of unconsciousness.

So, a completely wasted day. If you’ve ever had a migraine you have my sympathies, and I’m sure you can understand why my day turned into a completely fruitless, painful nightmare. If you’ve never had a migraine, I wish I could come even close to explaining one to you without sounding overly dramatic. It’s like a psychotic headache on steroids. With ‘roid rage. And it brings along its friends. In my case chills/fever (alternating with not set time period for each, to really keep me on my toes), nausea, vomiting, sensitivity to light (any light, not even necessarily bright light, just anything less dark than pitch black) and, my personal favourite, dizziness.

So, what can you do when one of these b*stards decides to take up residence for the day? Well, you can ride it out, which is extremely painful, or you can take the meds. In my case something beginning with Z and ending in tripto-something or other. The meds do help, they genuinely do, they take the edge off, they let me get to blissful sleep (if I don’t take them I’m rolling around in agony, which isn’t conducive to nodding off), and seep is the only real cure for me.

The downside to the meds is that the following day I feel like a zombie with lead weights strapped to my arms and legs and a head full of cotton wool. Migraines are a 48 hour thing for me, a day of agony, then a day of fuzzy-headed recovery. Yay for me.

Am I going to let this stop me working, though? No way no how. I am finishing that novel tomorrow, woolly headed or not. Might just take me a little longer, that’s all.

Oh, one final thing, migraines can be avoided, kind of. There are certain triggers that set them off, usually slightly different for each migraine sufferer. Mine tend to be lack of sleep, excessive alcohol consumption (well, duh), too much chocolate, long-distance journeys (especially if driving), and stress. Or a combination of any of the above. Oh, and green vegetables (I am sticking with that story for as long as I can get away with it). Of course, sometimes triggers can’t be avoided. I’m pretty stressed out at the moment, which in turn makes me not sleep, which in turn makes me want to eat Reese’s Pieces and drink beer. So, completely unavoidable…

That being said, regular exercise does help stave off the dreaded M word, so maybe I just need to get off my fat backside and start running again. Maybe tomorrow, I’ll let you know.

No picture today, a selfie would probably scare people (I am already in the zombie stage) and I did consider taking a picture of my meds and cold eye compress thing, but my brain decided that taking the picture, then emailing it to my gmail account so I can get it on my laptop, then uploading it to the site…it all just sounded like too much for this poor brain. Especially as typing this blog entry took me almost an hour…Normal service should resume tomorrow.

Stay Frosty, People…and if you are, can someone bring their frosty hands round and lay them on my forehead for a while? Please?

I am so glad Deadpool is still out in cinemas…

…or movie theaters, I guess, if this blog ever makes it across the Atlantic to be read in America.

What a film! I saw it for the third time tonight, and still think it is easily my favourite film of the past, well, ever.

Ryan Reynolds, perfectly cast. In fact, could anyone else have pulled off the Merc with a Mouth? I believe the answer to be no. He was obviously having fun, he was obviously invested in the role, and he was obviously passionate about giving the audience exactly what they wanted, which was the comic-book Deadpool brought to the big screen.

The film had laughs, action, and its tongue rammed firmly in its cheek (I’m sure Wade Wilson could come up with a different image of something else rammed firmly somewhere else, but let’s keep it clean). Very rarely have I been in a cinema and heard so many people laugh out loud so many times, from the opening credits onwards.

Great casting, great plot (simple but effective), simply a great movie. It worked on several levels, managing somehow to be an action film, a superhero film, and a love story all rolled into one glorious package.

I have no complaints, none, and that is rare. I’ll usually find at least one thing to pick holes in, but not with this. Roll on Deadpool 2.

Oh, writing-wise, completed the first draft of Metal Blade, my third novel, today, the first chapter of which is available on this website, but I felt today’s beer reward should go to my good friend Wade…

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Ordinarily I’d remind people to stay frosty, but not tonight.

Tonight it’s time to chimi the ******* changas!

How I Started Off As An Author

How I Started Off As An Author

A friend of mine last week suggested I might let people know how I started off as an author. I’m dubious myself as to anyone will have an interest/care/ever read this, but here goes…

One of my earliest memories of writing was as a child in school, taking a story idea in a project I was doing with a friend, and being told halfway through that I really needed to make it simpler…at twenty five pages (yes, twenty five whole pages!) it was quite a bit longer than anyone else’s in the class. Got a gold star, mind.

In my early teens I started a fantasy novel (by this point I was addicted to the novels of David Gemmell, David Eddings, Raymond E Feist, Katherine Kerr and of course, the late, great Terry Pratchett),and I think I actually managed to write about twenty thousand words or so before being distracted by the things that teenage boys get distracted by…that novel probably died along with the hard drive of the Windows 3.11 computer it was written on. Although now I think about it, there may have been some legs in the storyline, I might revisit that at a later date.

I remained a voracious reader, but didn’t write again until my early twenties, when I managed to complete a novel, A Coward’s Tale, again a fantasy novel, one where the main protagonist was a coward. Imaginatively titled, eh? I was fairly proud of this one, but in hindsight it was really not that good. Great practice, though, for the hours and hours and hours of dedication needed to actually sit down on a regular basis and complete a whole novel, start to finish.

Finally, while on holiday quite a several few years ago, I was lounging by the pool and came up with the basic idea for my first novel, Realmborn. A young man, on holiday, whisked to an alternate dimension, of which it turns out he is the long lost king and only chance of survival against a ruthless alien enemy…I scribbled down the basics, and when I got back home I wrote the first chapter. I then wrote down some notes in CAPITAL LETTERS underneath for the next chapter. And then some for the next. And the next. Before I knew it I had worked most of the night, but I had a whole storyline in note form, all built off the basic concept I had come up with by the pool. My mission became to expand each section of notes into a chapter, occasionally adding more notes as ideas occurred to me, but basically sticking to what I had written down.

Took me just shy of six years. In my defence a lot of life occurred in that period, including parenthood for the first time, and Realmborn was put to one side for quite large periods of time. But never forgotten, not completely. I came back to it with a passion a couple of years ago, stuck to it, and created a true fantasy epic, 220,000 words and a book big enough to serve as a weapon in the case of a home invasion.

I tried the literary agency route but, as any aspiring author will tell you, it is notoriously difficult to get published that way. Then someone suggested I try self-publishing on Amazon.  investigated, found out it was actually fairly simple, and not only that there are companies out there who will help you do the legwork, and then help market the book for you…for a price. I paid that price, and I am so glad I did. Realmborn made back the initial outlay within two months, and now a year or so on has done well enough that I have taken the plunge to focus on writing full time, and am hoping my second novel, Silver Soldiers, will do as well. If it does I have a third novel almost completed, a sci-fi actioner called Metal Blade, almost ready to go, and will release that on an unsuspecting world soon.

Having found my voice (that sounds really pretentious, sorry, I don’t know how else to say it) with Realmborn I found that the entire writing process had become easier. Same basic principle, come up with a central theme, idea or character (the main character in Silver Soldiers was dreamt up while I was out running), write the first chapter, complete the rest of the novel in note form (in CAPITAL LETTERS of course), then flesh it out chapter by chapter. Sounds simple, requires quite a bit of dedication and midnight oil burning, but so far I have felt that intense feeling of achievement at having created something real twice over, so as far as I’m concerned it is well worth the lack of sleep it brings with it. And I look forward to that sense of achievement for a third time soon…then a fourth and a fifth, and so on and so on until I run out of words or people stop wanting to read them.

Of course, this whole model kind of relies on people buying my novels, so please do feel free to, details on the relevant pages on this website. Go on, they’re pretty good, promise!

I hope if anyone with a passion for writing who has read this finds something useful in it, if not at least entertaining, and I thank you all for your attention and interest. Going by the stats on my previous few posts, all five of you.

Right, chapter 19 done, blogging done, time for a beer.

Stay Frosty, People.

Making Excuses…

Making Excuses…

OK, 17 chapters in 17 days, I have to say, I am pretty damn impressed with myself. I am also exhausted. That’s just shy of 35,000 words of my next novel, Metal Blade, and 35,000 words I’m actually really happy with. About halfway through, and so I think this is a pretty good point to take a break.

Partly because I think it’s  good to step away from a project for a couple of days, then come back to it, re-read the while thing and then carry on, your authorial voice renewed, partly because I could really do with a couple of nights where I sleep a bit longer than I have been (must buy more midnight oil as well), but mainly because I have an old friend coming to stay for the weekend, and I think it would be rude to greet him with the words “Great to see you, you know where the kettle is, I’m going to go write for six hours in a room on my own…”

On a serious note, I am pretty burnt out, and a couple of days not thinking about writing, or  words, or literature in general, will do me good, I think. I may not read at all for the whole weekend, ignoring texts, disregarding tweets and picking a restaurant that has pictures of the food on the menu…

So, on that note, my friends, I shall bid you a fond adieu, but only for a couple of days. Chapter 18 will be forthcoming by Monday at the latest, as will this blog. Unless there are drunken ramblings at some point in the next 48 hours, of course!

Oh, one final thing, I was trying to hustle my fiver year old along a bit, and casually said “c’mon, people, let’s move like we got a purpose”, which is when I realised that a lot of what I say is copied directly from Aliens…is this a bad thing?

Stay Frosty, People.

Of Mice and Men…Men Trying to Write

Of Mice and Men…Men Trying to Write

A very, very short blog entry tonight, as plans for my evening of writing were sent astray by the skitter skitter skittering of an unwelcome visitor in one of my kitchen cupboards. Said visitor has caused the emptying of, cleaning of, and then trapping of an entire cupboard, and I am both sad and triumphant to report that whilst he screwed up my writing plans, I’m afraid I screwed up any plans he might have had for anything taking place after tonight…

Go gentle into that good night, tiny rodent, for ye shall squeak no more.

After all that chaos and disruption I did manage to finish my chapter, but at the cost of any other plans for the evening, including my dinner, which is now taking place as a midnight (ish) snack.

Usual blogging to resume tomorrow.

Stay Frosty, People. Frostier than I was when confronting my rodent invader, anyway…

Planning for the Future

Planning for the Future

When I was leaving my job I was fortunate enough to have a really good group of friends there who made my parting gift something suitable, appropriate and thoughtful, a beautiful, leather-bound, cotton paged notebook for me to use in my new career.

As you can see I am yet to write in it, partly due to the breakneck pace at which I’m writing at the moment, and partly because when I do write in it I want to make sure I get it right. This is not the sort of book you want to just scribble in!

I do have a plan, though. My plan is to put an idea for a novel on each page of this beautiful tome, and a tick next to each when I’ve written them. So far I can very definitely write the first two pages (including a tick) with the details of my first two novels, and the third page can be filled out as the next book is already 50% completed (and mapped out in note format all the way to the conclusion) and I can put ideas down for at least another four pages/books that are my next projects. But what really excites me is the idea of coming up with something and then immediately getting it down on paper. As opposed to what I’ve done many times in the past, had an idea, thought it sounded really promising, then forgotten about it a week later when I tried to recall details…

Generally I have a single idea, a good character, or a particular situation, or a finale that I think would be amazing to write, and I build the rest of the book around that. Adding in supporting characters, a villain, a quest/mission/objective, fleshing out the original idea until it is a real story. I’ll write the first chapter, or sometimes the first two or three, and then add in the rest of the story in note format in sections written in CAPITAL LETTERS underneath. I then flesh out a section at a time from notes to prose, sometimes changing things as I go, but mostly sticking to the notes I’ve written.

An architect rather than a gardener.

So from now on I fully intend to write down each and every promising idea that pops into this old noggin of mine, and I will strive to turn each and every one of them into an entertaining page turner. And when each of them becomes a bestseller (as they obviously will, he says with a confidence borne of sheer delusion) I am going to go back to my old colleagues, and take them all out for a celebratory drink. Watch this space, I’ll hopefully be able to show that I am filling those pages very soon.

Oh, and a friend of mine suggested I bore you all with y process/journey as a writer, which I will make the subject of this online ramble in the next few days.

Stay Frosty, People.